Poll: Do you want kids?

it's bad enough people think my nephew is mine...doesn't ANYONE care that i'm only 18 and should be thinking about my education????!!!!!

first post?

first post. :)

and on a side note

I don't want any kids.

:)

Hey, where's the "roasted with a nice rosemary stuffing" option?!

Heh. No kids, please. I have a theory that children are kind of uber-people, exemplifying all the best and worst that humanity has to offer; before they're molded into obedient little drones by this society. I can't handle that kind of honesty. :-)

I keep friends with kids. I get to go bring presents and play games then tell their parents to take them home when I get tired of them. :)

that's all I like to do. :)

When I was student teaching that's how I felt.

Kindergarten and first grade. :) sent them home at 2:30pm. :)

I hate kids.

Ok. A comment from the other side. Err... well ok, another side. Whatever.
As a senior member of the fraternity may I just say that although at the moment the results of having a child are disappointing (not speaking...long story) I would do it again. And having recently married a much younger member of this fraternity, I likely will.
One comment: When I was leaving high school and deciding on what I would do I thought I should like to teach. Even well into college I thought high school would be the level I would want to teach. Teenagers seemed so vital, idealistic, exploring the world around them with passion. Now from the perspective of 20+ years later teens seem more sullen, disillusioned and pessimistic than in my day. Hope I'm wrong.

*goes to order Michael a puppy*

sorry about the pee, and chewed couch
~J~

only Arbie and I (as of right now in the poll) want to have kids?

eep!
Well, just to clarify..I don't want Arbie's kids, I mean, I don't want it to sound like I want to have kids with Arbie, since he already has one, and Arbie's wife robin is very nice and I wouldn't want her mad at me, but that really isn't the point now, is it?

*takes a breath*

I want my own kiddies! (with Rod)
funny I voted for one or two kids, but we have names picked out for five!
Most of you know that I'm not newly married either. Rod and I have waited 8 years (and will wait another 2) before having children. Many reasons really, but most of them have to do with me finishing my education, getting our bills paid off, and being old enough to be creative and "wise" parents. (if there is such a thing)

We have talked about adopting, but there is no way, even in 5 years that we would make enough money to satisfy an agency.

and I want kids for all the fruhead aunties and uncles they would have! *grin*
~J~

I absolutely want to have kids, though not more than one or two. I want to be married at bit longer first, though... at least another year or two. To hear my mother tell it, it's a pretty great thing, especially as they get older. Hopefully we're up to the task when the time comes.

well, i am way too young right now, but after college and hopefully getting married, i want a lot of kids. my dad came from a family of 11 and my mom came from a family of 7, and the experience of a having such a large family is something I wouldn't trade for world domination. also, my sister has no plans for children at this point so the burden of the grandbabies will be on me. i think six would be a nice number, but everyone says i'm insane, so i'd settle for 3.

Wow, you hate kids AND tshirts about web sites.
Innnteresting...

So are we all supposed to be either too young to think about it or else absolutely certain?
I've always loved children, especially small children, and for the most part, they love me, and I love that love. I've always wanted to raise a child or children the way *I* want to. Usually, I think that I want a child. But I'm not sure. For one thing, I don't believe in marriage. While in this day and age marriage is not as much of a prerequisite to having children as it has been in the past, it makes it a just a little bit more complicated. Furthermore, I'm not sure that my wanting a child is justification for having one. making people is not something you mess around with.

exactly. i want nieces and nephews. maybe my own kids. someday. but not for a long, long time. eep.

Yeah I'm with gella on the option choices. I went for "one or two" because if I ever do make up my mind to do it that's what I want. But I really don't know what I want and what's in store for me. I waffle on it.

Yeah, the nice thing about kids is that if you end up with too many, you can always sell them on the black market for a pretty good price, and just buy a nice Lexus!

Woot!
:D

What I don't like is people who try to convince you that "having children is a wonderful experience that all should be a part of."

I have no feelings to be apart of that.

Those same people make you feel like an alien for not wanting to have a child. Many people choose to not have children. It doesn't make us weird, or alien or anything of that sort. We have the right to decide if we want rugrats or not.

I do not want to have a child and there is nothing wrong with that decision.

Both my parents came from families with brothers and sisters (my mom is one of 8 children and my father is 1 of 3). Both did not have the wonderful "8 is enough" type of family (I mean, who seriously does?) where everyone got along and wished to have a large family when they got married. On the contrary, they wanted one or two children but only wound up with one after my mother miscarried in 1974 at the age of 38. Then no money, lay offs, surgeries for me out of town, it was decided they couldn't afford another child.

I do not have a biological clock. If I do have one it's on doze because I don't feel the need to procreate. I may change my mind but at 31.5 years I doubt it.

I love to teach children and be around them as long as they are not my own. End of story.

My sister is the same way, and gets the same kind of incredulity regarding it.

She has no interest in having children, period. It's funny how so many people consider that to be just, like, a given.
Like all women need to eventually give birth, when it's just not the case.
It's very strange.

They also think that you are selfish for not wanting to have a child. Selfish has nothing to do with it.

I don't know where some come up with these ideas, but they can't get it through their heads that not all women (or men for that matter) want to have children or a child. That's not one of the requirements when you get married or being with someone for a long period of time, you must have children within a certain amount of time. I know many married couples that don't want children and don't feel the need to have them. They are happy being a couple. Is having a child in the "couple contract?"

And no, we're not missing any brain cells for that choice. :)

I just wish that those would respect our decision for not wanting children instead of trying to shove it down our throats about how wonderful it is, how wonderful it is to be pregnant, having that pregnant glow, how it's amazing to watch them grow, giving birth, etc. etc. I'll watch from afar thank you.

Maybe it was the fact I never played with Barbie dolls while growing up and planned the perfect wedding for them (*barf* Believe me, I'm not J-Lo and the wedding planner). Or maybe it was my mom telling me in the past 15 years, "I wouldn't want to bring a child into this world nowadays." or "I'm not in any rush to be a grandmother and if you don't have any children that's fine with me." Insert cuss words where ever you would like since she does. :) My mom recently retired (at 65) so I'm sure if I got her on here and she would start a flame war about this topic in a second. ;) (that would be funny! *g*)

I never planned on having a child. I can't even pick a name for one when I'm playing the Sims.
Any dreams while I sleep on have on having a child are usually filled with fear and the exclamation, "I don't want to have a baby!" I think that sums up my subliminal thoughts while sleeping.

I think kids are great, they are interesting and entertaining... when you are watching them in a documentary about kids. Otherwise they scare the hell out of me. I'm never sure what to do with them. I'm all "Umm... hi... soo.... umm... How's it going? Hmm... Soo.... Uhh.. I think I'm going to... uhh.. go now... bye." I would like my older brother and his wife to have kids, than when the kids are like 9+ I'll totally hang out with them. I want to be a cool auntie, I have no desire to be a mom. I think I'd screw it up horribly.

"They also think that you are selfish for not wanting to have a child."

In this world that makes no sense. It is much more selfish to have a child than not to. I'm not saying that people who have children are evil or anything, and as I said I love kids and would love to have my own someday *maybe,* but how is it selfish to *not* contribute to overpopulation? To not create another consumer of resources? How is it selfish to not bring another screamer on the plane or to the party or in the auditorium or the synagogue/church? I see no logic at all in that line of reasoning. At. All.

Yeah, I totally agree.
With the state of the world as it is, I think it's somewhat selfish TO have a child.
But you know what they say, there is no such thing as a self-less act.

Gella you are absolutely right! These people don't think of it that way because of course their worlds are perfect. Well what they don't tell us, I guess doesn't hurt us in their heads.

Do you know how many times I've had that comment said to me for not wanting a child?

This comes from co-workers who have many children:

One girl married a man she met in a bar. First child out of wedlock (not planned), the next two are after she was married to the same man. The age of the girl is under 30 (25 to be exact). She wanted to have all her children young like her parents did. Her parents were divorced while she was a teenager and her father has remarried. They all get along so well! (it's like the school speech from the movie: "Big Girls Don't Cry, They get even...")

Another woman has 4 children, one child has down's syndrome. I don't know how he's being schooled, but it sounds like he's home with the father all day until he goes to work.

Another former co-worker has two children. One child was conceived to save her crumbling marriage. The parents divorced before the child was two. Now she's in family court.

All of these people kept telling me how wonderful it is to be a parent. I believe they were trying to convince me it is because of the fact I'm single and they are not. They have the children but can't quite understand those who don't want to overpopulate the earth or bring a child into a world that's already screwed up.

If I heard from the under 30 girl one more time, "I LOOOOOVED being pregnant." I would scream. It goes along with these same people rubbing their bellies every chance they got and being 3 mos pregnant and wearing maternity clothes. It's an attention grabber. That's not a reason to have a child.

But it certainly catches your attention when you're on a plane with a 4 year old screaming...reminds me of the Bill Cosby routine about Jeffrey. :)

Having kids is one way a lot of people deal with their fear of their own mortality, sadly.

I'm rather fond of when people call a person 'childless' - hey people - try 'child free'. :)

i want to adopt. giving birth just looks scary. :P and plus, that way i get to choose, instead of getting some ugly freak kid not unlike myself. :D

Maybe "child impaired?" ;D

and the names of children would be...?

;)

If it's a girl...hermione? :D

And I REALLY hate t-shirts for websites about kids.

I'm hoping my brother (eventually) has kids, but I don't want my own. I don't know how to handle kids until they hit age three or four and start asking philosophical questions. After that point, they're a lot of fun. But I find infants terrifying.

I lumped my vote in with the majority this time, at 1-2, but 2-3 would be more accurate.

In the mean time, I've got a favorite little friend, Hadley, who's not quite 2 yet -- she's such a cutie! I'll have to post a picture of her here sometime.... and I've got the perfect one, too...

-- Pauley

hi all... in response to an earlier somment, the only reason I didn't add an "I don't know"option is that I was thinking of it as an "what I want for NOW". Because, obviously, life sitations can change or dictate whether or not you want kids, or whether or you have them or not despite how you feel.

I want kids, and always have. I want to be a mom, to watch the children grow and learn. And if they need to be set free when they get older, to be able to do that, too.

It's so personal of a decision... I don't think it's wierd or selfish -either- way. I think it's great now that the world has changed, and that those who don't want kids aren't -completely- forced into it by society, but society also has trouble with anything seen as outside the "norm", and for some wierd reason, not wanting kids is still seen as not normal.

I don't want society to tell me that having kids in bad, or evil, either. If I were concerned about overpopulation, I'd have one kid. You're not, technically, adding to the population if you (and your partner) do that.

Of course, this all assumes that I'm in a stable committed realtionship (doesn't really matter if it's marriage) while I'm still of an age to have kids at all. :)

I have one child. Not because we planned to have only one, but because one was all we got. Becoming a mother (or father) is an amazing thing. But if some people don't want to have kids, that's fine. That's a personal choice, and let's face it, it's probably for the best if people who do want kids do have them, and people who don't, well, don't.

I get a little upset with the folks who rag on me about having "only" one child though. "But he'll be spoiled", "He'll be lonely", "He'll be screwed up", etc., etc. Let's face it. Everyone is screwed up. Everyone comes from a disfunctional family. Everyone carries their baggage from childhood with them. The challenge is to recognize how you're screwed up, and try to avoid doing the same things with your own child. ;-)

nah, i'm more into the french names thing. jean, for a boy, and amelie for a girl. heh :D

I like to refer to myself a "barren," at least functionally. :-)

I want kids, but I'm going to have to settle for adopted kids if I ever get together enough to have them... damn ovariansists.

Speaking as an "only child" don't feel bad that you didn't have more. :) It's not a requirement to have more than one. :) My mom felt guilty about it for a long time because when I was a child, I always had to have a friend to go places with me.

I was never lonely. I went to day care, pre-school and school, had tons of friends and learned how to occupy my time (with books, toys and records) when I didn't have a playmate.

What kills me is how some parents (generalization) with more than one child do not know how to teach each child to occupy their time when no one else is around. I was also a latch key kid at the age of 9 and had to learn to take care of the dog(s) and myself when I got home from school along with doing my homework before my mom came home.

However some parents of "more than one child" and/or psychologists always think (this is a generalization - there was once an article about this in our local paper) that the only children are spoiled, don't know how to interact with others, can't share, don't know what it's like to have "hand me downs and get all new clothes," have more problems growing up, don't know what it's like to share a bedroom etc.

Which is not the case. I can't stand that some have a narrow view of this. Why? Because they don't know the background (financial or personal) of the only child.

Some "onlies" as they were called in the article, excel more in school because the parents don't compare them to the other siblings. They also have more quiet time to study. Some to most only children are perfectionists. Not that the parents make them that way, they just learn to be that way by themselves. (this is from personal experience *g*) Only children do have hand me down clothes - it's called "older cousins who give you their old clothes when mom and dad can't afford to purchase new ones." Also my mom's boss gave me his daughter's old clothes. Only children learn to amuse themselves and are able to occupy their time because of the no playmate factor. Sure I whined for someone at times to play with me - but not all the time. I learned to eat by myself since my dad worked nights and my mom did other things while I ate. It doesn't bother me to eat in a restaurant alone since I used to read and eat at the same time.

On the contrary, the friends who came to my house, broke my toys, had bad manners, stole items from my room (books, toys, cards, action figures, tapes, records), didn't know how to treat animals, went through all the drawers and closets in my house, jumped on the funiture etc. These children came from homes with brothers and sisters. So does having a sibling teach you anything more than not having one?

Which is better - siblings or none? Depends on who you ask. The only children can tell you it's better and the people with brothers and sisters can tell you it's better because neither one knows the other side. :)

But yes, everyone is screwed up and brothers and sisters or having an only child isn't the cause. :)

Sorry for the long post. Those people who don't have only children should just keep their noses out of your business. Maybe they are jealous you only had one. ;)

Now the only name that sticks out in my mind for a girl is Emmeline Laura named after a character in Anne of Green Gables and the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. :)

Thanks so much, Chrissie! It was so nice of you to post that. I did used to feel guilty, but I now feel really lucky to have to one I have. He's a really interesting person, my son. I just hope I can survive his teen years....eek.