The "A" Word.

So, I'm sitting here, drinking beer, as I usually do on a Friday night, and I remembered a comment Bruce said a few months back.� We'd been drinking rather heavily, on a rather regular basis, in fact, and he said that sometimes the "a" word passed through his mind.

Alcoholic.

I know that the first step to recovery is to accept that you have a problem.� And then I wonder if I have a problem.� Sure, I fall into the "I can stop anytime I want to stop...I just don't want to stop" category, but what really defines an alcoholic?� Have you ever been there?

I can't say I don't worry when I see so many names and diary posts about being drunk. But on the other hand I tend to be very reactionary because of the high occurrence of alcoholism in my family/life.

No, I've never thought I was an alcoholic, except from the genetic perspective. I've never had a drink, really. But I do feel if I decided to start drinking that I'd be in danger of being one fairly quickly. *shrug*

Alcoholism has a lot of variants. My dad, he really could stop when he wanted to. he did for�months once. But he went back because he enjoyed it. So yeah you could argue that he wasn't physically addicted.� But he let it affect his life. It never affected his job, but he spent so much time at his bar while we were growing up that we ended up pretty damn neglected. And the alcohol ultimately killed him. And that's the really depressing part. Because he COULD stop. He didn't suffer withdrawal or DTs. He just decided enjoying the alcohol was worth more to him than staying alive.

And I'll stop before I babble into infinity. :)

just want to echo what andrea said. i come from an irish catholic family. it's beer ahoy. and it scares me. and i tend to be a bit reactionary because of it. it's also why i don't drink much at all--two or three drinks a month *maximum*. i dunno. i'm not feeling coherent today.

I don't remember saying that I thought that. I don't remember thinking it. Was I drinking that night?

You were.

I don't drink enough to even wonder if I could be an alcoholic, but I know a few.

One simple test I would try if I wondered is to just stop for 3 months. Just to find out. Cold turkey. No alcohol at all for 3 months. It's only a quarter of a year. Not that long. If you can do that pretty easily and not cheat I think you can be pretty sure you're not an alcoholic. If you can't, then you need to seriously consider that you might be one, and look further.

actually, that's not entirely true.� there are different kinds of alcoholism.� some alcoholics only drink on weekends, some have a huge binge every six months or so...� there are very few people who are the stereotypical "it's seven o'clock in the morning, I think I'll have a martini or five".� Regardless of drinking patterns, the detrimental effects are still there.�

I know that there's something of a history of alcoholism in the family, but I've never worried about it in myself. Occasionally (one a month?) I'll go out and have a couple of beers with a friend. Sometimes if I have dinner at my parents' I'll have a glass of wine. I just try to be responsible and not too worried about the family history.

I do believe that some signs are consistent.

Look at the list of symptoms of alcoholism

Do you find yourself missing out on things because you're drinking?
Do you find yourself hiding booze?

There are plenty of resources. If you're seriously concerned, might be worth taking a deeper look.

A speaker at a high school convocation told us that you were an alcoholic if you've ever had a second drink. And that alcoholism couldn't be cured; it could be controlled, but only to an extent.
Sure, it was a speech designed to keep us away from alcohol. Considering that a good portion (although I haven't checked actual stats) of high school students have consumed alcohol, it seems that it was a "give up on life" speech. Honestly, if you're already an alcoholic at 15, and alcoholism can "never be cured," what's the point? Just let the drink ruin your short and pointless life.
I don't agree with that theory at all.
I think that life is to be lived. If you choose to make alcohol a part of your life, good for you. If you choose to abstain for any (or no) reason, also good for you. It may be naive, but drinking is a behavior. It may be harder to unlearn than it is to learn, but if you really want to stop... you'll stop.

Well, that's all well and good if you're the only one affected, but unfortunately actions affect others, for better or worse.� So maybe not good for you if you want to make it a part of your life.� Maybe better for you and those around you if you don't.

I feel that the high school convocation speech in question is rather�myopic�and ultimately laughable.� Living in the South, in the bible belt, that sort of mentality is rather common, but if that's true, there are a LOT of alcoholics.

It's a sad fact that there is a genetic tendency toward alcoholism.� It's not always as easy as making a choice.� Furthermore, drinking is a behavior, but as with most behaviors, excess is unhealthy and leads to suffering.

Yes, live your life, but DO be good to those around you.�

As for alcoholism not being able to be cured, there's something to that. Some people have to stay away from the stuff completely because they fall into unhealthy behaviors and hurt themselves and others.� It's not as bleak as "give up on life," but in the right light, could be a prudent warning.

In my own family lots of folks have not been able to get their lives together until after they gave up alcohol.� My relationship with my father has improved dramatically since he stopped.� Things were not good between us for a long time because he had fallen into bad patterns.�

For some the choice is harder to make to quit.� Addiction sucks :)

Two thoughts: First, if a person makes�alcohol a part of�his/her life, that indicates that this same person is�choosing to use it, for whatever means.� The (bald) assumption here being that this same person is�using it and not the other way around, meaning the alcohol isn't using him/her.

Second: it isn't what Bob does to Joe that makes Joe uncomfortable, but what Joe does to himself in response to what Bob does that makes Joe uncomfortable.��As in, if someone around me is drinking and behaving in a stupid manner, it isn't their behavior that makes me uncomfortable, per se, but my reaction to their behavior makes me uncomfortable.

The idea that alcohol doesn't mix with a person who has other people in their life....eh.� That's going to depend.� Obviously, there are those who become abusive and violent while under the influence.� (Or when they can't be under the influence.)� That's clearly affecting people negatively.� But how does my ocassional drinking - at home, with my husband - affect the rest of the people in my life?� It doesn't.� It isn't interfering with my social life, love life, work life, kitty life, family life, etc.

If it doesn't, then it doesn't.� And�cheers :)

My point is simply that with some people it clearly does interfere with their relationships.

I'm all for going out with my friends for a few rounds when the opportunity arises

hear, hear!

I agree that my situation lends itself to the more selfish view.� Obviously, parents have more to consider when making that decision.� The same goes for everyone who has other people (which pretty well means everyone) in their life.�

However, just because a decision is made doesn't make it irreversible.� If a person noticed their relationships were being affected (or if they were confronted with the fact), they should reconsider their behaviors.� If that means they stop drinking, then they'll do what's necessary to stop.� No, I'm not implying that it's easy.

As was said, if it doesn't, it doesn't. Occasional drinking is perfectly cool, and if your drinking is, indeed, occasional, then more power and scotch to you.

But... you were the one who raised the question. I'm just saying.

>A speaker at a high school convocation told us that you were an alcoholic if you've ever had a second drink

Did the speaker ever try to justify that statement?� Did he/she mean more than one drink at a time, or over a whole lifetime?� That's one of the stupidest, most over-generalized things I've ever heard.� I'm really interested how this speaker came to that conclusion.

seriously. does that make me a drug addict, if i've had a second bowl? :D sheesh.

and it would turn 98.3402% of the French population into alcoholics ;-D

Unfortunately, no.� The speaker presented it as fact.� The implication was over your lifetime, but I can't remember if he said that explicitly.

He also compared chewing tobacco to "worm dirt" (most fisherpeople will know what he meant by that).� I didn't bring that up because I agree with that part.

A speaker at a high school convocation told us that you were an alcoholic if you've ever had a second drink.

Yes, just like every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

Mind you, cats are a very recently introduced species in Australia and since millions of them have gone feral, they have significantly contributed towards placing many species that are native to this continent on the endangered list.

Our world is weird. All I can do is to propose a toast to its future. And another, and another ...

Our world isn't nearly as weird as some of the people who inhabit it. :-)