..and i'll even try for 10 rather than my usual 1:
10) mormon's catch up to the 90's and start a new BBS: celestial kingdom
9) all sermons must end with "does anyone else really believe this shit?"
8) revelation: joseph smith did a lot of drugs in the woods
7) same book of mormon, new pointy hats
6) 50% discount when you bring a friend
5) "Humanity is a virus" actually refers to the spread of religious doctrine.
4) New official mormon movie: Orgazmo
3) Divine truth, yes. ~4000 corrections to the book of mormon can't be wrong.
2) Your immortal soul, now with 30% less fat
and the #1 way that mormon's could be cooler:
1) if you sign up now you get a free AOL disc