Andrea uses boys like tissues!

I can't believe you called me "a wonderful woman" instead of a no-good, boyfriend stealing ho.

:)

*smooch*

I figured the no-good boyfriend stealing ho thing was, you know, understood. :)

nothing wrong with using boys like tissues, it's using tissues like boys that's sick and wrong.

y'know, if you really think about it, using baseball-style percentages for tracking boyfriend success rates would be a very bad idea.

ooh, demotivational thought: "the only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is *you*"

hooray for no-good boyfriend-stealing hos. Speaking of, dude - wish you *had* theived Jeff away from me. Did I ever even TELL you about that crap? Seriously. That was - and I'm not kidding, here - up there as one of the more dysfunctional relationships I've had. Besides, lest you have forgotten - HE broke up with ME. Badly, too. :)

I canNOT *believe* you dated Dan. I knew him. Lord. Ew. Do I know Eric? Why do I think I knew Eric?

Anyway, Chuck was sweet, and at least he didn't turn out as crappy as my 7th-grade Boy of Desperation LEE! Argh, I'm so glad I burned THAT journal. Oh man - remember the alien porn?

The memories just keep flooding back, eh?

HO? Er, not. At least you seem to have managed to avoid stalkers. At last count I'm at 3.5. 2.5 of which were the result of some unbelievably poor judgement on my part. The last I had the wits not to actually date. Partly because he bought me - as, apparently, a courting gift - MEAT. Two grocery bags thereof. If that's not the absolute worst present EVER, I would like to know what is, not counting dead humans.

I do admit that I smirk a bit that the guy I lost my virginity to looked *exactly* like your standard picture of Jesus H. Especially at that moment. I had to stifle laughter. And then there was Van Boy, whose key admirable trait was ownership of said Van, Crazy Mike the Chef (not current Mike), of course Jeff and Greg (not that I slept with either of them two, anyway) and christ, also Crazy Harry (from the mental ward - always a great place to meet future mates!) (and, for the record, also un-slept-with, thank christ, even if he did proceed to inform everyone that I was a big dyke because of it (Hi After-School Special!) which was actually okay because one of his girl friends was pretty damn cute, unfortunately nothing happened there), Floyd who mistakenly thought I was his girlfriend, and Roy. Roy I actually still like. The only one I still think is worth keeping in touch with. Oh, and Garnet. Um, and, Ken? I think? And Marco. And Alan! I can't believe I forgot Alan. And Justin, who I think Alexis still has (she had a bit of an issue, there). I *think* that's all the boys.

Then of course there's Dori and Lila and Becki and Kristy and, hm, I think that was all the girls. I think I'm forgetting one, can't recall at the moment...

I could go on. Suffice to say, ho you ain't. :)

The last I had the wits not to actually date. Partly because he bought me - as, apparently, a courting gift - MEAT. Two grocery bags thereof. If that's not the absolute worst present EVER, I would like to know what is, not counting dead humans.

I'd have to say that buying someone a baby cow and then telling them that you're going to make veal out of it for them would be much worse than getting a bag full of meat.

I do admit that I smirk a bit that the guy I lost my virginity to looked *exactly* like your standard picture of Jesus H. Especially at that moment.

at least the experience was divine ;)

Depends on the circumstances. The only times I know of that people have gotten a calf as a gift have been specifically to raise it for meat or dairy. I do know of circumstances where people have received dead human (parts) as a gift, however sick. Besides, the gift in this case was actually meant in a quasi-nice way, if unbelieveably misguided, which I have a hard time seeing the calf in your citation being.

Long story short: he was not just insane, he was also a mysogynist, an alcoholic, and paranoid. The meat was meant to signify my impending status as his (likely barefoot and pregnant) cook. I was supposed to learn to cook the meat (I had been a vegetarian for years and never really learned to deal with cooking meat) in order to be better able to prepare his dinners for him, on his farm in Iowa, which is where he was planning to take me.

I am not currently, as you may have guessed, in Iowa, or on any farm whatsoever.

And you show me the girl whose first fornication was divine and...well, er - no, t'wasn't. But it WAS funny. And that's better than nothing :)

Also the guy was a doll. Remarkably, I managed to pick one I don't regret - remarkably because my choices at that point in my life would often have been hard-put to have been more wrong-headed.

Heeee....yay I'm not a ho! :)

And yes, you knew Eric. I don't know how WELL...but yeah. He was at that very first Riverside outing...you know, where we walked around and avoided meeting the people we went there to meet? Eric was one of them. I"m sure it wasn't the last time you met him but it's the one I remember most.

I actually had a crush on Lee. Isn't that horrible? :)� I SO have a thing for geeks.

Ewie ewie ew, you had a crush on Lee? Good thing for you he turned out not to swing that way.

I thought I remembered an Eric. Not that I remember a damn thing about him other than the name, though. Was Steve the old guy I seem to recall that hung out with us? Didn't we meet Bruce once too? And I'd totally forgotten how many times you and Paul broke up and got back together. Hee. That was kinda funny.

My only proper recollection of Hunter was that time we had seven people in his hatchback which he proceeded to plow directly into the four-foot-by-four-foot-by-six-foot stone pillar at the bottom of my driveway at like two a.m. If I remember correctly, JJ was in the hatch. Heh.