word association

so I was thinking about random obscure things... and then I started polling about it...

so when I talk I see pictures in my head to go a long with just about every word. not nessisarily a pic of�what the�word (if it happens to be a noun) represents... it could be the first time I used the word in a sentance. or something random like a memorable time the word was used by me or someone in hearing range. or something completely unrelated. the point is that I see pictures as I talk.

a friend of mine spells the words as she says them. (dude if that was my way of doing things I'd never get a sentance out)

a lot of people just looked at me like I'm weird.

what do you have in your head while you talk?

I don't know that I have any particular thing in my head when I talk. But when I think about things they're always in my head as a voice. The thoughts don't just flit around as items, they are voiced by me...or others.

And when I read things I read them in the voice of the person who wrote them, if I know it.

And I see vivid images when I close my eyes, but not when I'm talking.

When I'm talking I'm always thinking of words I should have used, things that would have fit better, or the person would have understood better.� Like�"Should I have said small word instead of diminutive word? Did they understand that" or �"Maybe I should have said busy instead of��assiduous. I don't think he/she understood what I was saying, should I go back and say it again?" Than I start beating myself up, inside, for not being more cautious of who I'm using my words with. So.. that's what's in my mind when I'm talking.

Anni, there's this little error that you make pretty often...and since you seem to be a big language person I figured you probably weren't aware of it and might appreciate someone pointing it out.� So I'm not trying to be snarky and if you don't want me to comment on your grammar ever again, please say so and I (probably) won't.� :)

"Than" is a word used in comparisons, as in:
"Diminutive" is a bigger word than "shorter."

"Then" is a word usually referring to time or introducing the next event in a sequence, as in:
"I wonder which word I should have used, then I start beating myself up inside for not being more cautious."

Oh! Thank you for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed that. Commenting on my grammer is fine, so long as it's not in a "you're an idiot" kind of way, then I'll get defensive over it, naturally.���

Heehee...excellent use of "then."� :)

from what I've observed, becca isn't an "you're an idiot" kind of person... *achoo*

excuse me.

I didn't say that she was. I said I didn't mind if someone corrected me, so long as it's not in a 'you're an idiot' sort of way.� or something like that.

it was more a "I'm sure you needen't worry about becca being hurtful"

...just because she's the gramar nazi...

I'm kidding again. please don't hurt me. ;-)

Well...I'm sure even Nazis are diplomatic sometimes.... :)

And, I wouldn't hurt you....*pout....except maybe in self-defense.� ;)

yeah cause I'm SO gonna put the smack down on you. ;-)

Yeah, I could tell you were just waiting to pounce on me in a dark alley and beat me up or something.

;)

Wait...was that sneeze intended to imply that I am a "you're an idiot" kind of person?

*Looks insulted.

no! NO indeed! I really sneezed. allergies dude. :-)

Heh...I'm just confused by your decision to type the sneeze.� :)

I thought it was a lovely sneeze. I think more people should sneeze in their posts.

achoo!

copycat! you just sneezed cause I make it look so sexy kewl. ;-)

well miss becca, I usually type coughs and sneezes and such, as they happen. dude.

Hee. Thanks!

while we're correcting, it's "grammar"

Okay, I'm actually having a really�bad week, could you please not correct my "grammar" or spelling for a bit?� Although I'm sure it's meant with the best intentions right now I'm feeling as though you're just trying to point out how stupid I am, and I really don't need that right now. I'm assuming I'm just being over-sensitive, but this is really not the best time to tease me about it. Thanks

I'm personally of the opinion that it's usually not the best time to correct people when it's public. I just don't get it. It can be humiliating for the recipient and unless everyone is making the same mistakes, there's no public good value to not doing it privately if it's really that important. It's always been a peeve of mine, and tends to come across as rather smug. Yes, sharing knowledge and helping people has an altruistic component but it just seems to me that doing it privately could save a lot of embarrassment and alienation.

/soapbox

dude. well put. I feel like a retard as is so it feels like (alhough this is prolly just me being sensitive, as I am known to be) when someone corrects my gramMar that they are pointing out the obvious. I'm a drooling bafoon.

I just want to say that I logicly don't believe that anyone has that intention when mentioning when something is gramMaticly incorrect, but my illogical (domanant) side dissagrees. :-)

I...yeah.� Sorry.� I don't know that there's much I can say to save the situation, but I didn't intend to be rude, and I will try to refrain from correcting people in public forums, etc., in the future.

Sorry Anni.� :(

I know it's not malicious on your part. And you're not the only one who does it. But I do think it's something that should be done in private. I know I'm smart. And I know I make mistakes, too. And it hurts like hell when people point them out for me in front of others, no matter how secure I may be in my general intelligence.� Does that make sense?�

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.� Surely you don't think I wouldn't have corrected you if I'd disagreed.� ;)� But, seriously, I understand what you're saying, and I'd probably feel the same way....I'm just not sure what I can do other than apologize and avoid doing it again... :-/

Don't feel bad Becca! I love you ! *hugs*

Thanks, Anni.� :)� *Hugs back.� But, I do apologize for starting this whole thing and for upsetting you.

dood.

I agree. though I'm not always as good about it as I'd like.

I also use it as a snark tactic at times. which is also not-cool.
but sometimes the snark just feels gooood.

How could it be anything else... A statment in a forum or on the wall is not a published work, nor is it even a term paper. It is a little bit of casual conversation between friends (or those who at least have given their assent by having an account on this website, which is a tacit agreement with the acceptable polices, chief of which is civility.) Correcting someone's grammar in public is either a form of teaching, an attempt to put another down by subjecting them to public humilliation, or a misguided need to declare the corrector's own superiority over the others by attempting to assert themself as an established judge over everyone else's behavior.

Teaching is only benevolent when the student enters into a overt agreement to be open to the correction of the supposed authority, which I do not believe is the case here. By choosing to appoint oneself as the authority or teacher where no such agreement exists, is to attempt to humiliate the other, to attempt to demonstrate one's own superiority over others, or to do the latter by pointedly doing the former.

I know when I first joined this community, I believed I was joining as a peer, and I did not assent to public humiliation or to be taught by anyone person in particular. I am, however, very open to being corrected, and if someone were to contact me through private messaging and ask if I would be interested in hearing their insight on how my communication might be enhanced by considering their observations on my misuse of proper grammar, I would likely ask them to share their observations through further private messaging. Why? because I would assume that their willingness to contact me privately would be evidence that they had no ill intentions... that they were not attempting to make themself appear superior to me or anyone else by humiliating us publicly. And by the same token, I would not attempt to correct anyone else's grammar publicly for fear of appearing smug and full of myself, because that is what it most often does to others reading a thread containing with a public rebuke of another's casual conversation.

There is just no justifiable reason to publically humiliate another person instead of contacting them person privately and first asking them if they are open to your advice. It is a simple matter of respect. IMHO....

Okay I'm sorry I put *that* now.� It's not anyone's fault that I'm being overly-sensitive. I haven't slept�more than a few hours�the last few nights and I'm out of prozac and every f*cking thing that has been bothering me the last few months seems to have jumped out and pushed me down.� I'm not upset with anyone for correcting me, although, I would have prefered it in private, I was just asking that it please stop for a while because I don't really feel like I can deal with any sort of critisism, serious or not. I'm just being an�emotional dumb ass. Can we please just let it end here?

Seriously, Paul.. you're being absurd.

Um, HI?
It can also be done to be helpful.
:P

Jeeeesus people.
Calm the frick down.

and that.

I think its usually done to be helpful and I'm sure thats what becca was intending to do, its not so much her motives (and other grammar correcters) that are in question as the persons reaction to said correction. I usually am okay with being corrected, I just react to it by feeling like a dumb ass which is by no means the correctors fault.

and� tot, please don't use my lords name in vain it offends me greatly as I am thinking about becoming a nun. thank you. ;-)

God, I'm so sorry.

*hugs*

If I'd known your lord's name was Frick, I never would have said it.

I meant no offense, seriously.

Jeez Nate! You're so insensitive sometimes...

yeah and I'm going to be a nun of the order of "frack".

Frackin' nuns...

heh
:)

I was trying to just leave things as they were... but, Paul, your statements are just making my blood boil.

Do you realize how hypocritical you're being with what you said?

Thank you to everyone who commented for letting me know how you felt about my original post. With the permission of a good-hearted, and well-intended FHDC'er who had the courage and the decency to share 'their' reaction to my posting with me via private message, I am reprinting a slightly edited version of my private correspondence explaining the original intent of my first post.

I'm sorry that it came across to some of you differently than I intended it. I am even more sorry that some of you believed that post to be an attack on any of the previous posters in the thread, because I did not ever believe that they were intended to humiliate anyone. I was far more concerned that, once Anni graciously stated that she was open to correction, several posters felt the need to immediately jump in with further corrections. That appeared to me to be something that did not need to be aired in a public forum.

As far as my accusing anyone in public, that was never my intention. I tried very hard to be formal in my comments specifically to avoid personalizing my comments to any particular person. I clearly was short-sighted in renaming the thread, it was a mistake for me to say *WAS* instead of *TURNED INTO*. I did not believe that anyone intended it to be a flame from the beginning, I only got upset when it became clear to me that another poster was clearly hurt by the comments that followed. It had further appeared to me that having several individuals jump on that particular bandwagon had had subsumed the original intention of the forum's creator.

I am a lousy typist - slow and alot of typos. When I started typing my post, the corrected individual had asked that she no longer be corrected because it was adding on to the preexisting distress she was already experiencing, and two other posters had already begun expressing (very diplomatically) that they believed that such correction was inappropriate in a public context. By the time I finished, however, one of the correcting individuals had already apologized. I immediately thought about editting the comments away, but no one else had stepped up to the plate to apologize, Because I would never publicly accuse any individual, I let the comment stand in its formality (specifying no individual personally). in an attempt to both build upon and put a finer point on the aforementioned previous posts that were suggesting that it is far more appropriate to do such things privately. I had intended my response to add an emphasis on the "perception" of such public correction. But I can see now that I responded too impulsively.

After rereading my post, however, it is clear to me that I failed miserably to be specific that I was trying to speak of perceived motivations. I am sorry for causing anyone to feel that I was intending to judge their motivations. what I failed to make clear, was that the impression outsiders get often follows the three types I had mentioned... and I would be remiss in not pointing out that, however it was ment (seriously or jokingly) the appelation "Grammar Nazi" was not a term I used or would use, it existed in the forum long before I got there. But it did reflect what I intended to say in my first post, which was that such commentary belongs in private communication, if for no other reason than to to allow only the two involved in such discourse to develop an aggreement together what it is all about.

As far as my commenting in a public forum, at the time I truely believed that my comments were simply continuing to develop what had already been the general course of the conversation long before I even new the forum existed. It did not feel to me that I was accusing or judging the intentions any one specifically, and that I was merely responding to what others had introduced into the public forum by their own posting. Some of you may still feel that I was being hypocritical by making my comments public, and you would be correct if I had commented out of nowhere and judged or accused anyone spotaneously. I did not do so, however. The whole topic had been made public at the point of the original comment on grammar, and had to continue to blossom as other people began to either add additional corrections and opinions on the appropriateness of such behvior in a public forum. The foundation had been laid long before I stumbled into the existing discourse. If you are angry or upset by what I posted, then be so because of how I expressed myself (I take full responsibility for my words, and when I understand that I have not made myself clear or have hurt someone unintentionally, I will own it and apologize for it... which is the reason I am posting this). But do not accuse me of being hypocritical (at least not in this case), I did not make this topic public, I only commented in an already public discussion (though feel free to be upset with me for not developing my comment to precisely mirror my thoughts, because I am equally upset with myself in my lack of precision.

I still firmly believe that such comments should happen in privacy and only with the consent of the individual being helped, but I feel badly that I have inccurred the resentment of others and that my comments hurt some peoples feelings. For that I am truly sorry. As I said, I would not have posted it publicly if the original comments and the ensuing course of the forum had not already have significantly developed in a public manner. I never intended to injure anyone in the way that I appear to have, and, while I don't have the right to ask it of any of you, I am deeply sorry and ask your forgiveness.

"spontaneously"
;)

And, thank you for taking the time to explain what you meant. I now understand.

I'm also glad this moved away from flaming. *breathes sigh of relief*

"I'm also glad this moved away from flaming." *breathes sigh of relief*

So am I! My gut reaction to this has it's own deep history, and while I felt compelled to comment, not only did I not want to hurt any one, but the last thing I wanted to do was alienating people I enjoy hanging out with! I count you all as friends here, especially those I met at FRFF last year. I hope you all will be there this year as well (and that by then I will no longer need to be dressed in Kevlar from head to toe!) ;^)

/me laughs
:)

*pokes tot in the tummy*

*giggles like pilsbury dough boy*

andrea,

that's almost exactly how my thoughts work.

almost exactly.

exceptions= vivid images, I'd change that to vivid sensory imaginings(?) it's not always images, but the taste of a sunshine warm strawberry just picked off of a plant as well, that sort of thing.

and I only hear text in the voice of the person if it's something they wrote like an email/letter/even essay. but for poetry or novels or fiction I only hear it in the voice of the athor if it 'fits' in my head.

I do not think when I speak i just get lost as I have too many things going on and I cannot get the words out quick enough, so�I say something then ask if it makes sense less to the person I am talking too and more to my self, hey does this make sense? ..yes�I think it does....

I get teased a lot for my tendancy to do the opposite.

it is not uncommom for me to pause mid-statement to search for the one word, or term or phriase that would EXACTLY convey what I am trying to express.

I am usually fairly anal about trying to be understood and to avoid mis-interpretation from the get-go. If you can just say it right the first time it can save a lot of trying to back-peddle and reexplain later.

I have this unfortunate habit of thinking while talking, and I think slowly (thus talk even more slowly, with big ... NPR music-host style ... gaps). Sometimes in the middle of a sentence, I'll realize that I have no idea what ought to come next. Please tell me there's a conceivable reason for this other than creeping senility. I'm not _that_ old.

The other side of my talking slower than I think is this:

Me "Hey I've just had a really good idea!"

Steve"What?"

Me"I've forgotten."

I also vocalise my thoughts excessively like last night when I was on the bus and just said (to no-one in particular)

"I'm going home now to listen to some pretty music"

Steve laughed for about five minutes after that one.

Oh and my sister does that thing you do all the time and she is a (very young) thirty...hey she even did�it when she was twenty ..and forgot my name all the time!