being a jerk :P

Tell about a time when you were a jerk :P but, it was funny.

i'll start:

i used to work at a videostore. at my store, if you hadnt rented at our location before but had at another, we had to call to do a customer check and xfer your account (this was in the stone-ages, clearly).

we used to have a guy in our system whose last name was "mahboob." the location down the street a bit also had him in their system. so we'd call just for fun:

"videostore X, can i help you?"
"hey, location X? this is location Y. i have a customer check."
"ok, name or number?"
"number."
"what is it?"
"Account number 12345678."
".........mah...boob?"
"AHAHAHA"
"DAMNIT LOCATION Y."
"ahahahah *click*"

That reminds me of checking through the database when I worked at Hollywood Video. Someone had obviously become very angry with certain customers, and had changed their account numbers to "SHITCOCK" and the like. It was teh funny.

My ex's mom was being evicted from her house, because she wouldn't date the landlord (long story...) His relatives upstairs, and there was a crawlspace between the bottom floor and the top floor. So the day she moved out, I threw 5 lbs of ground beef and a kidney into the crawlspace.

the scary part is that you had a kidney laying around :P

They were on sale. It might have been a 2 pack.

So there was this professor who was absolutely evil.

I sent Mormons to his house.

*dies*

so I guess that makes me evil, too.

"Hello?"

"Can I speak to Mr. X? " (that being me)

"Um, hold on let me get him." (come back in 1min see if they're still holding. if so...)

"Um, he's in the middle of something, can you hold?" (come back in 1min see if they're still holding. if so...)

"Well, I don't think he's going to come to the phone, he's too busy cleaning up all the blood." (or whatever)

Back in the early 90's (before voice recognition systems were common) I worked at a college computer store. I wanted to see how people reacted to technology, so answered the phone "You have reached the ... computer store. If you would like to speak to a salesperson, say 'sales,' and press the pound key. If you would like to speak to technical support, say 'support,' and press the pound key."

The person said "sales," and pressed a key. I started laughing and and tried to put them on hold as quickly as possible, but I think they heard me.