Best Spam Ever

I received this in spam (I have no idea why I even opened it, I guess I was bored):

Any golden ram makes sound and a given smart expensive book show its value.
Any white bottle is thinking.
A red red recycle bin looks around or maybe a
given noisy mobile phone got an idea while his slopy bicycle snores at the place
that his smart soda got an idea.
Any round-shaped tall dog calms-down.
A fancy
purple camera sleeps.
Her daughters green bluish kitchen adheres.
Whose
round-shaped clock spit the time that his beautiful hairy expensive odd shaped
small caw stinks.
A noisy wine calculates.
Any given small silver tv
fidgeting.
Any hairy picture fidgeting.
Any given beautiful tall green green
spoon walks.
Any given golden car run or mine golden camera sleeps and perhaps
a given green odd����������� shaped expensive omprella smiles.
Her green
magazine falls.
Whose fancy ipaq makes sound.
Whose shining paper stares.
His
smart soft laptop is thinking.
Any given stupid round ipaq makes sound or maybe
their tall little ipaq prepare for fight the�� time that his purple magazine
calms-down.
A���������������� round-shaped sport shoes smiles.
Any shining
bluish round-shaped soft binocyles snores the time that our children bluish
bottle falls.
A shining house stands-still while her daughters green mouse is
on fire as soon as mine round-shaped glasses calculates.
Our children little
sony stands-still as soon as her daughters red mouse spit.
Her white forg
prepare for fight however, his brothers soft balloon snores however, his
brothers purple exam book fidgeting.
His brothers green car is thinking.

What's the best piece of spam you ever received?

I got this one a few weeks back, under the unloaded image that presumably was the actual ad. Seems like a neo-Faulkner screed to me:

It was time... to rock. It was time... to rock. Don't do that, the cat pointed out. I was just thinking.

Can you tell me the answer? she asked. I'm cold, you said, staring at the continuation we had to feel through yesterday. The same thing we do every night, he replied. The continuation of our species matters more than you can imagine. It is the single most important thing we can do.

There's something I should tell you. (Things were looking worse.) He wanted to know more. Suddenly, he disappeared.

I'd walk down to the stream, look around, and take a deep breath. I'd thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she'd done. I'd seen many of the same things I've seen before. There's something I should tell you.

If you put an infinite number of monkeys at typewriters, eventually one will bash out the script for Hamlet. I suppose this is how close one of them got to date.

WTF is that about?

Best spam for me? Well this one time, I ordered spam in this diner and they served it with some really nice spices and sauce and it didn't taste half-bad. Oh... You meant junk-email sort of spam...

It is a spam designed to fool bayesian filters. I'm way too tired to give a great explanation, but basically they try to add enough "noise" to the sales pitch to make the e-mail look legitimate.

here ya go.

Oh. I see. Thanks! I will search my spam more carefully now. Mmmmmmm... spam...

I always loved The Invisible. So this piece of spam made me smile:

Ransom,

Govenment don't want me to sell
UndergroundCD !Check Your spouse and staff
Investigate Your Own CREDIT-HISTORY
hacking someone PC!
Disappear in your city
bannedcd2004

[link removed]

monaco,was the anteroom.

subject: : Waste A Few Bucks To Increase Ur Sizeee primp sycophant icelandic

bewilder drawstring grus ,

===== CIALAPREN =====
The world most--effecctive male enhance-ment pi11
100%. natural botanicals gathered from every corner of the world, only
2 pi11s daily
Increase the length of your DICCKY by 2-5 full inches
Thicken ur DICCKY and make it much fuller & harder


Here is what you can expect from taking CIALAPREN:

WEEK 1-3: Your DICCKY will experience greater and longer lasting
erec--tion
WEEK 4-8: Your DICCKY will have grown in lenngth and will possess much
more thickness
WEEK 9+: Your DICCKY will have taken on a new body of much harder &
healthier

------------------------- We ship to all countries
---------------------------

Booost ur confidennce level & selff-esteem

Screw ur lover like never before

Cliick-here to get Cialapren
(link removed)

umbilical oligarchy callus fogey .
concrete minsky stomatopod .

Oh a really funny shockwave animation about spam can be found here. (And turn the sound on :)

OMG Reinhard!!!

That's AWESOME!

I am now officially amused for the rest of the day :D

Exactly.

And what's almost even funnier is that for some reason I knew in advance that you'd like this... ;->