Poll: If you were going to torture someone with music, which genre would you use?

I do care about the poll. just not torturing people.

I voted in the not-caring department.

Because, really -- what music to use to torture someone depends on what they don't like, not on what I don't like.
And who wants to end up making their torture-ee happier?

"When I was growing up they said heavy metal was the music of the devil. Now I'm grown and I know the real music of the devil is new country." ~~ Danny Michel

:)

where's the endless hours of MTV option? It's such a great variety of mainstream shit!!

muahahahahahaha

ambient drone "noise art"...it's SO painful.

on a related "note" (hahahaha) -- has anyone heard about the "symphony no 2 for dot matrix printers" that was just released? it's by "the user". yes, it's real. yes, it's exactly what the title sounds like--dot matrix printers printing patterns that make "music"...it's actually kinda cool. and even cooler are the track names--stuff like "&&&&& %%% &&&&& . . . . . " lol i'm not kidding.

don't believe me? your canadian tax dollars at work.

But only the avant-garde nonlistenable stuff. My other first choice was rap.

aj, if you were anywhere close to the pacific northwest, i'd bonk you one.

jazz as torture.  if i were killed with jazz, i'd die a happy death . (:

-= george =-

*raises a glass* here here!!

-- Pauley

I don't think you guys know what that "avant-guarde non-listenable stuff" is that AJ's referencing, or you'd be agreeing with him. Here's a story.

At jazz camp, we had to attend a concert that two of the instructors gave. It was about two hours long. Most of it consisted of one of the guys leaning into a piano and whacking random strings with a hammer at random intervals, and I'm having trouble remembering what the other guy did, but it had something to do with creaking, possibly a long, sustained violin-string kind of creaking. There were also random sloppy notes on the trumpet, and some general thumping and banging of objects in the stage area. Those are two hours of my life I'll never get back, people!

Cuz I'm an ass. =P

Country music has it's charms...

Burned that whole place to the ground along with that SHIT country sound!

lol, I agree. I chose country. BLEH! I tried to like it, but it kept doing things that pissed me off... like being there.

Mrs. Elva Miller, The Del Rubio Triplets, Mary Schneider (Australia's Yodelling Queen)... the choices are many!

NO!

NO!

NO!

Adam's torturing us already!!!!

*snicker* *shudder* Having heard two of the three Adam's listed.. The first two would torture anyone! Though it's funny watching someone else hearing them "sing" for the first time ;)

well.  my -first- choice was rap.

 

then i realized that i, too would have to listen to it while dispensing it, so why would i wish to torture MYSELF, too.

though country would be good coz i like it and so many others don't.

then again, i could say the same for folk.

so.  yah.

my vote  ;)

carry on.

Shouldn't the there have been an option, "I'm a sensitive clod that doesn't want to torture anyone you insensitive clod?"

If the person is really evil I'd play Shanwrong. If the person was even more evil than that I'd sing myself. I'm not sure if anyone has ever been that evil.

I can do techno in small bits, but after awhile, I just need to hear something unplugged. I was at a new years party in high school with some friends who were computer people to the point of only liking music if it was made on them. 12hrs of techno later, I got home and listened to EFO until the bass was out of my brain.

Rap (at least the more underground stuff) can have really good lyrics if you can make them out. A whole lot of it's overdone, and has the same bass problem as techno, but I tend to listen for lyrics over music a lot of the time.

I like older country a bit, and a lot of what's listed as "alternative" country is just folk by another name, so that's good. The radio stuff though, I can't stand.

Actually, I think that if I wanted to torture someone, I'd just put on top 40 radio. Even if the song of the week wasn't too bad, by the 1000th time it ran it would work just as well.

 

Enhh.  It's muscal elitism like this that sometimes drives me nuts about fruheads.  I mean, lots of people act as though we're of one hive-mind about music, and all like the same things.

It is my considered opinion that all of the above genres of music have their place, and given the right circumstances I could enjoy and appreciate them all.

I mean, I don't own any polka CDs.  And I can't imagine a series of events that would lead to me buying any.  But, there's nothing better than going to the Polish bar on Friday Nights, and getting down to the Beer Barrel Polka.  It's all about time and place.

i have to agree. i've always thought that in general, i was a "bad fruhead" because i just don't like folk. i'll listen to anything with a good harmony and German techno (and what exactly is wrong with German or any other kind of techno, pary tell??) granted, i mock my boyfriend mercilessly for owning the "Smallville" soundtrack... but i like 2 songs out of the 12, and his CD collection has lots of albums i love but never bought.

i have a 5 year rule for music. the main point is: crap still sounds like crap after all the hype dies down. good music still sounds good after 5 years no matter the genre.

Bravo. All the music I've ever liked, I still really like.... which is why I still own all the albums I've ever bought. :) And, I am not a fan of folk, generally, either... so you're not alone. hehe

Well, yeah, but you're still a musical elitist.  :P

she's the lead "singer" (I say "singer" because she has a range of about 2 notes and doesn't often hit those right) of a really horrendous band from New York called The Moldy Peaches, and for some reason, TMBG really like them and her, and have had either the full band or just her open for them on multiple occasions.

those of you who know who I'm talking about will understand. those who don't, there's really no good way to describe how bad this so-called music is. just be glad you haven't had to put up with it FOUR TIMES.

if that isn't torture, I don't know what is.

Nuff said.

*shudder*

 

well, then, I'm willing to be tortured any time. :)

Nah, too easy.

Hey Nate... I knew I could count on you to include "The Squealeds" in a poll on torture soundtracks! Now that there is just the two sisters, it is like listening to fingernails on a chalk board!

Yeah, at least with the daves, there was an element of talent involved. :)

Country and Western.

i can torture pretty much anyone over here with fruvous or DVN. :D i don't know what it is about british music tastes but it seems that there are two extremes (bad mainstream pop and bad metal/grunge/punk variants) and nothing in between. most people wouldn't have a clue what a cappella is, and when i say i'm into 'north american folk rock and barbershop' people just piss themselves...

...please, please someone rescue me from this evil country :D

Well barbershop is trying to take over the world. We all need to heed DVN's call and stop it before it becomes too powerful. Think we can get a UN resolution on it?

the funniest thing is German heavy metal...I don't have a clue what they're saying, but this one Rammstein song starts with the guy counting in German. This guy has a crazy voice and German numbers are kinda freaky, so it's...um... Anyway I picked opera. My grandpa relly likes it, and it's horrible... Country is what I first thought of when I read the title of the poll, but then I saw there was an "opera" option.

And why do so many people hate rap? I guess most rappers suck, but there are some good ones.

"German Techno" just sounds bad. I've never heard it but if someone said they were bringing over a CD with German Techno I would be out the door before they could finish talking. Sarah

when i was a kid i lived downstairs from this german kid, and i used to go up to play on his nintendo. he had this german heavy metal tape that had this song on it - it was blatantly a german folk song, and it started off with just one singer and an acoustic guitar, and then got higher and higher in pitch and louder and louder, until the whole band ended up smashing their stuff up on stage. my friend loved the song and played it over and over. i can still remember the tune today. i wish i had a copy of it :D

Would be my choice - failing that, opera (which I don't mind listening to but would probably drive a lot of people crazy *g*)

I can't really think of a single genre in which I dislike everything. I used to think I hated country, but that's because I thought country was radio country and not Hank Williams, Bill Monroe, Lucinda Williams, Ryan Adams, et al. I used to think I hated metal, but I think Metallica is really smart and lyric-driven --at least by spells-- and I like Rage against the Machine. Yeah, top 40 is dopey, but I enjoy dancing to at least some of it. Ditto for techno (though I prefer the Greek variety to the German). And I used to stay as far away as possible from opera, but then I started studying and singing it, and it's grown on me.

Here's an idea: what about bad covers of good songs? Like muzak versions of Beatles or Nirvana? I think that would be a small slice of hell.

We should thank our lucky stars Fruvous never caught on in corporate U.S.-- we'll never have to hear crappy string arrangements of "The Greatest Man in America" in elevators.

bad covers of good songs? three words: American Pie, Madonna. gag me with a smurf.

"Here's an idea: what about bad covers of good songs? Like muzak versions of Beatles or Nirvana? I think that would be a small slice of hell".

See, I love to hear the new wave of 90s musak. There's something oddly amusing about No Doubt, played in MIDI form, at my local Ben Franklin store.

You made one of my favorite points. I used to say I hate country too. The problem is all I heard was corporate country like Garth Brooks. Some alt country is amazing. Bob Dylan calls Hank Williams the greatest songwriter ever and who am I to disagree? My country CD collection isn't large, right now it's Hank and Lucinda Williams, Luthor Wright and the Wrongs, and Slaid Cleaves. Slaid says he isn't country but he writes about losing woman and fixing cars, if that isn't country what is? You haven't lived till you've heard Luthor Wright and the Wrongs version of Pink Floyd's The Wall. They covered the entire album as bluegrass.

You mean there isn't a section for Tall New Buildings?  I mean, uhh, LOOK BEHIND YOU!  A THREE HEADED MONKEY!

is appropriate, given the topics of discussion. Go forth and read!