mixed up phrases

So hey, who has heard people mess up/combine common phrases or sayings?

There are many classics... ("Don't bite the gift horse.", "I've got a real beef to grind with him.", etc) but today, I heard someone called a "square shooter" instead of "straight shooter".

What mixups have you heard?

I was always fond of "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it"

my grandpa always told me, mix your metaphors & people will pay attention.

so i like the creative ones that cause entertaining mental images. the ones that get on my nerves are the ones that are close, & therefore boring. also the ones that are ubiquitous like "towing the line" & "flaunting the rules" (which should be "toeing" & "flouting", respectively).

I told someone they'd be "Picking up broken fingers with their teeth", instead of "you'll be picking up teeth with your broken fingers."

My dad likes to say "kill two stones with one bird"
My favourite are Archie Bunkerisms:
-geronimous zones (erogenous zones)
-female intermission (female intuition)
-arterial influction (arterial Infarction)
-ipso fatso (vice versa)
-house of ill refute (house of ill repute)
-his-mones & her-mones (hormones)
-kromo-stones (chromosomes)
-last will & tentacle (last will & testament)
-mental pause (menopause)
-pillow of salt (pillar Of salt)
-premartial sex (pre-marital sex)
-suppository remarks (derogatory remarks)

best show ever :)

wouldn't ipso fatso be a mixup of ipso facto?

wouldn't ipso fatso be a mixup of ipso facto?

hehe ya, but thats what it said on the site i lifted it from! �(http://www.allinthefamilysit.com/archieisms.shtml�)

i�just ran with it.

upmost, "I took the upmost care."

to lie prostate, "If my son joins the military, I will lie prostate in front of the White House!"

e.i., "Birds are noisy, e.i. their calls." (along the same lines, ect.)