Part 5 of Fear

Greetings all. Wormy's topic about the forest trip has made me curious. What are you afraid of? As I mentioned, I have my own. I can't go anywhere where there isn't a bathroom. If I do, I start freaking out and hyperventilating, and I immediately think I have to go to the bathroom, whether I really do or not. It's the reason I haven't taken Lily out on my dad's new boat yet. It's also the reason I was half an hour late on the first day of my new job. I had a panic attack on the commuter rail train in Providence. All the other people on the train thought I was a freak. =P

I'm afraid of going places I can fall. This includes: Cliff Walk in Newport (UGH UGH UGH, starts out broad and sandy and safe, gets to be narrow concrete ledge with hill on one side, 10-foot-drop to boulder-laden sea on other), the bridge on I-91 between exits 6 and 7 in Vermont, the Tappan Zee bridge, the mess of bridges in Albany, etc. The bridges here in Springfield over the CT river I have no trouble with, oddly. I don't like going on ocean-going boats smaller than ferries -- I'll fall out of them, I'm sure.

Oh, I also don't like stopping under underpasses for I'm convinced that that is when they'll collapse.

I am in an almost constant state of fear, it seems. :)

I'm not afraid of heights. I actually love them. I think it rocks to stand at the edge of a cliff or building and look down. Fascinating.

I'm terrified most of:

Being broke

Talking to strangers (on the phone adds even more anxiety)

Change/lack of control

Spiders

People disliking me

I fear getting h4x0r3d by p1g5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

I still am afraid of walking over road bridges as they will fall while I am on them and if the fall does not kill me then a car will or the falling rubble may do it.

I used to be convinced that I would be killed at a train station and therefore sruggled with those places but I think I am over that one.

My new foundd fear/phobia/thing that makes me freak out is big corporate consumerist places, I froke quite magnificently in The American Girl Place and the neon town attatched to Niagara Falls.

*makes a note to find an alternative to showing you Times Square* (unless you liked to be scared).

You fear getting "File Not Found"?

I can handle being scared in small doses.., and Emilie loves that stuff so keep your plans as they are!

okay...will do, but I'll be sure to add some things that won't scare you as much. :)

There appears to be a bug floating in the links system of message posts -- the "s in the the anchor tag are being escaped:

<a href=\"/mod/discuss/bounce.php?url=url_goes_here\">

and it's causing problems in the URL. I've run into it before, too -- as a work around, after posting, go back and edit in the correct URL.

-- Pauley

I have a fear of heights under some circumstances.

I'm not afraid if I'm standing on something solid. I've stood at the top of cliffs and leaned over to look down. Planes don't bother me at all. I climb mountains and enjoy it. But put me on the second step of a ladder and I start getting anxious. In gym I couldn't do the courage jump off the horse.

I used to be afraid of spiders but I out grew that. I realized that when I saw a spider on the woman I was on a date with and just picked it up off her with my hands. Testosterone can do amazing things.

I guess I have height fears in a way.� I love looking down, I love being high up. I want to skydive and bunjee jump. But I will NOT do those things at amusement parks where you get into a harness (with other people usually) and get pulled up diagonally and then drop and swing forward and backwards. Up and down motion doesn't scare me but for some reason the lateral motion does. I think it somehow strikes me as feeling so out of control. (And as stated above lack of control terrifies me.). I mean...falling off a bridge or a plane or whatever...it's down. It's gravity. The other way...it's gravity, it's the whim of the arc, it's twisting in different directions during the arc, it's just so reminiscent of careening out of control. :)

I got MORE afraid of spiders after a humongous one crawled on my face at Appel Farm.

Fixed now.

I got MORE afraid of spiders after a humongous one crawled on my face at Appel Farm.

reason number one why I stay in a hotel during Falcon Ridge.

Well yeah but it wasn't even during the night camping. It was laying on the blanket in front of the stage during the music. :)

anything that sucks my blood. mosquitos, ticks etc.

breathing someone elses air.

wearing matching socks

being late

being dumb

things being out of order

not lining up my creamers after I've opened them

not stirring my coffee 3 times and then clinking the spoon on the side of the mug.

people looking at me.

eye contact

initiateing physical contact. hugs, hand shakes, I got no problems as far as talcott is concerned. ;-)

the phone

being fat.

eating.

sleeping.

being a dissapointment

living a long life.

I know a lot of people feel like they have something they're ment to do in life and even though I'd rather not, I feel like I do too, but I don't know what it is. I'm afraid I wont ever do it.

I'm afraid of playing the piano. took lessons from the time I was like 6 till I was 14.

afraid of playing the violin.. for the same reason.

afraid of singing

afraid of�men.

afraid of women.

the hospital.

I'm seriously afraid of the Bush regime. I fear for our democracy if he gets re-elected in November.

I'm slightly scared of Chris.

Though that fear is clearly tempered by your big old crush. :)

Pssh.� Indeed.� I have no idea what you're talking about.� You can't be serious.� "Old?"� Couldn't be more than a few months . . .

So has anyone else ever recited the "Litany against fear" from Dune?

Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the the little death that causes obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will let it pass over me and through me
And when it is gone I'll turn my inward eye on its path
Where it has gone there will be nothing
I will be alone.

That just makes me think of all the whispering narration in the movie. The whispers we so...well, juicy...they got on my nerves.

I know I do.

this includes death, old age, losing friends (three of which i lost this month alone), loneliness, not ever finding a right boy for me, CLINICAL DEPRESSION, illness, my fucked up vivid/lucid dreams and what they mean, not being able to hold a job, not being able to pay back my steadily accruing student loans, not succeeding in life, etc...

i hate spiders with the utmost passion, but i'd gladly take 100 on the face if i could say, find true love and happiness.

Yes, many, many times, i even taught it to one of my shrinks to teach to his other patients. At the time i was going through a brief weather phobia. On any given day i might be gripped with the fear that the weather would turn dangerous for whatever reason. It could happen any day, usualy on a cloudy one but not always, could be sunny. Very wierd time.

I'm afraid of falling, but in a less grand sense. I guess I could say I'm afraid of tripping or going down (but not up) steep inclines, because I'm scared that I'll lose my footing and fall. I'm also slow on steps for that reason (combined with my being out of shape). I can go down a steep hill, if I have to, but I'll take little tiny steps and it'll take forever. If someone wanted me to go on a trip where I had to climb up or down something moderately steep and therre was no railing or anything to hold onto, then I think I'd back out of going. I wouldn't be afraid of those things, if I were in a vehicle, though. I just don't trust my footing and my balance. As long as I don't have to do much, then heights and bridges and that sort of thing are okay with me.

Also, I'm really afraid of bugs, spiders, worms, and the like.

And getting needles.

yeah... but... EVERYONE has a crush on chris.

It's.... so... last week.

;)

As a kid my fear of needles extended so far as to make me get scared if we drove past my doctor's office. My parents would never do it but I was afraid they were taking me to the doctor and not telling me. Strangely enough when I actually went to the doctor I liked him and had fun watching the big goldfish he had in the pond in his office. I hated the shots but was OK the rest of the visit.

My needlephobia can get pretty extreme too. In MA, you have to get a blood test to get married, and I went to the lab to get the blood drawn, sat down in the chair, the lady tied the rubber thing on my arm, and I immediately said "Uh, I gotta go" and BOLTED for the door. I got home and told the fiancee "Y'know, let's not get married". She ended up having to bring Lily (who was like 6 months old) and hold me down in the chair to get the blood sample.

did i mention spiders? they make me scream... as do butterflies as i have just found out. Funny that ia m scared of spiders when my house is full of them... I woke up once to find one coming down a thread toward my face! Yikes.. I blame Robert Smith

Absolute phobia of hornets, bees, wasps, etc. To the degree that if there is one near me, the code word is "run" and I do....like the wind. I'm sure that I'll wreck a car one day because one will fly in at me. I just KNOW those yellow jackets are chasing my car at stoplights because they can smell my overwhelming fear.

I've had nightmares about 'em.

I'm not allergic and, you know, the sting isn't really THAT bad, but I continue to be terrified.

Apiaphobia. I like knowing the names of phobias :-)

i am afraid of failure.

my biggest specific fear is falling down stairs. stairs only, i'm less afraid of falling than i am of hitting lots of things on the way down & twisting my neck.

I am very afraid of steep hillsides, especially ones with lots of loose gravel. Also I hate hate hate centipedes! they have all those little squirmy legs!

yeah, I hate any bug with more than 6 legs.

no, no no.

it's the litany of BEER.

i have a very.

VERY.

irrational fear of needles. i cry just thinking about them.

surgical needles. syringes. getting shots, stitches, blood drawn, anything like that.

i had to have blood drawn last year to have my liver & kidneys checked. i cried for 20 minutes and wouldn't let the poor lab tech near me without jerking my arm away. i cried on the sleeves of her scrubs. i finally let her take some out of the back of my hand. from the crook of the elbow was just out of the question. i hate they way you can feel your pulse in the arm when they tie that band around it. *freaks out*

yet. i'm not afraid of piercings. i've pierced my ears in 11 places and pierced my tongue at 18. i'm just too prone to infection and cant pierce any more (although i'd love a belly button ring).

my arms are tensing up just writing this post.

oh dear god, ME TOO!! everything you said, times 1000!

In fact, i vividly remember this one time when i was 18 and i RAN out of the doctors office, past the waiting room and down the stairs, in TEARS, for fear of getting a needle. The poor little kids in the office were probably scarred for life and totally afraid o a doctor's visit because of me.

I can watch pulp fiction over and over again, not look away at or be bothered by the grossest and goriest images, but that scene where travolta injects himself is one i fast forward thru or look away from, every time. same with every other movie.

This fear stems from the time when i was 15 when i got a mandatory innoculation at school for Hep B. i never feared needles before, but this time i fainted, right in the middle of the gym. SInce then i have had three more needles, and fainted from all of them. I have low blood pressure and i think thats what its from. The docs claim its normal but i thought i was the only one my age who cried and fainted from needles! thank you for being a freak with me! :)

ANother time last year at school they had people there to take a small pinprick of blood from your finger to test your bloodtype. i figured it was just a tiny prick, and i didnt know my bloodtype; i figured it was valuable info to have, so i volunteered. i didnt faint, but i became lightheaded and felt sick and had�to sit in the bathroom with my head between my knees for 15 minutes. For a PINPRICK.

I have no peircings and never ever want any, and i would seriously risk the chance of hepatitis in lieu of getting a needle.

it's THAT BAD.

even typing about it makes me cringe.

yep. iw asnt afraid until i was 17 and gave blood for the first time. i cried the entire time. i thought it was a stress thing and went to give blood again. i wigged out on the nurses @ the red cross so bad, they had to go sit down and take a break.

pricking my finger is no big deal. that doesnt bug me. i must do that 50 times a day anyway :D

but if the needle has to enter a vein, woe be to the medical technician that tries.

I don't have a fear of needles but I sure hate them. This is mostly because my veins are hella hard to find so they have to tourniquet me several times and poke me a bunch of times before finding something. And god forbid if I'm at all dehydrated. Trying to put an IV into me once when I was sick and dehydrated and I had tourniquets on all four limbs as they were trying to find something to poke.

I also tend to get very lightheaded and sick even if they're drawing a little blood. I don't know if this is squeamishness on my part, bad fluid and diet choices that day, or my low blood pressure.

I'm not supposed to give blood on doctor's orders for another reason, but it sure makes me relieved because I think I'd go nuts in the blood giving process. ANd then pass out. Heh.