coming to terms

the nice thing about sloths, however, is that they move so slowly that you can see the impending strike coming. do sloths have claws?

i think it's probably responsible of you to worry about the self. that's the logical road. that's not to say that it isn't good to do something for the sake of faith. as i'm so fond of quoting "you can't cross a chasm in two steps, sometimes a leap of faith is required". you get bonus points if you can scatter dirt in front of you and see the indiana jones style glass plank in front of you.

i'm sorry to take your potiential roomie away, in the sense that i'm sorry to inconvenience you. i'm of course not sorry that we fell in love and that she's coming here to live with me. i joke about it periodically, perhaps you need to just follow your potiential roomie up into the great northern land of kansada. then again, there's no plan b/c or d here. at least the ohio-ans have multiple plans to help you out if things go bad.

for what it's worth, i think talcott has the right long-term approach to a zilpha-talcott relationship. i think that taking a relationship one step at a time (and not skipping all the intermediate steps) is probably the healthiest road. i understand how you could occasionally feel like he's trying to keep you at distance for the impending breakup, but i suspect that's more bilpha talking than zilpha. i would like it if anni and i could have a "proper" relationship in the sense of living in the same city and having the normal courtship, it's just not practical given the whole way the work permit system is set up, and besides, i've been the logical one too many times in my life. i've been the talcott enough times that i'm into trying something different, i still respect where he's coming from and would objectively give the same advice he's following if i didn't know anything about the two of you at all. i respect that you have needs, that you're risking a lot, that you're running the risk of being left high and dry.

as far as i see it, there's the logical road and there's the leap of faith. as richard (my boss, regarding anni) said it to me "would you want to go through your life knowing that you didn't take that chance?".

either way it works out, we're all here for you. tomorrow is tomorrow, you might end up in ohio yet even if you kill the prospect short-term. and either way, for what it's worth, pacho always loves his p'tite. *hugs*

the point is that I can't afford it. I cannot afford to live on my own in an apartment, hell I can't even afford to buy all the meds I need. what would be the point of moving to ohio if I couldn't afford my meds and so I tweek out and end up in the hospital again?

you could catch me in a manic moment and not give me enough time to think twice and i'll room with you. don't start second guessing, luv. and you can't predict the future, unless you let yourself sabotage it. in that instance, you'll always know what's gonna happen, but you'll never let yourself have anything good. i don't know. i'm way crappy for advice.

I spend more in meds then most people do in rent a month, I'm being sensable.

A thought:

Accepting that you have challenges in life that others don't/won't have to deal with is different from surrending a decent life.� You can either accept the challenge or fight it.� Don't surrender the quality life you are entitled to.�