Life is a f*cking b*tch

what wouldn't I do to help you if I could? life sucks and god has the remote controll of life pointed at you unknowingly with the "suck" button stuck under the plastic... the goddess will realize the error soon enough and bitch slap him and yank the controll from him. I'm not going to try to tell you what I think you should do because honestly I don't know... just want to let you know that someone else is feeling similar things... sometimes I sit motionless for hours not doing a bloody thing except breathing, but even that has slowed to a dangerously low rate, not moving because I know if I do the thing I will move to do is to get a knife. the desire to make my outsede look like my inside feels, to just let a little of it out, to releave the pressure of the demons on the inside. just know that being alive is the chalenge, the reward and the hard thing to do sometimes. not living is the easy thing, the selfish thing and weak people give in to it. you've made it this far, so I know you're not weak. *hugs* hang in there miss anni.

Super Happy dance!!!!!!! I talked to my dad, and asked him if he would loan me some money, he said no. But he was planning to give me some money if I wanted it. So yay for my dad and I getting along right now!!!!!!!!! I'm feeling sooo much better now!