so my friend pete was on the phone with FedEx not an actual person mind you, it was the horrible automated hell they put you through to get to an actual person. "if blah blah blah then press 1... blah donkey balls with rice blah blah 2" you know. well pete had gas... he let one rip and the automated voice said, "did you say 'help?' ... if you said 'help' press 1..." and pete was laughing so hard he had to hang up, compose himself and then start all over again.
Memo: from now on the international sign for help is gastro intestinal destress in the form of flatulation.
