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Poll: Are you usually the breakup-er, or the breakup-ee?

Breakup-er. I've got a way of breaking hearts. 29 (32%)
Breakup-ee - I rarely instigate it. 25 (27%)
I've never broken up with anyone. 10 (11%)
I've never been in a relationship. 13 (14%)
Other 15 (16%)
   Discussion: Are you usually the breakup-er, or the breakup-ee?
Adam Hartfield · 15 years, 11 months ago
Breakup-ee sounds much nicer than dump-ee. :)
danced with Lazlo · 15 years, 11 months ago
when I dated, out of out of six relationships, I ended 5. *shrug*
Misch Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Should we call you The Terminator? Well, if we did, you'd probably end up with egg on your face
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Yeah me too. Out of 12 breakups I initiated 9. JJ, Norb, and Paul dumped my ass. :)
Misch Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I did no such thing!
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Yes you did and you know it. Bastid.
Misch Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I'm appauled that you would insinuate something like that and besmirch my character!
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I am the only one allowed to be aPauled these days!
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

And you're an ApPaul tech! *giggle*

Melinda J. Beasi Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
oh good lord.
George E. Nowik Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
stab me now.
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
ME FIRST!!! ME FIRST!!!
jaye Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
no death! there are RULES!
George E. Nowik Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

no death? are you sure? please?

-= george =-

100% dainty! Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
actually she implied it. you insinuated it. ;)
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

(But I guess Paul's off the hook because I dumped him twice prior to that. Heee. :) )

nate... · 15 years, 11 months ago
Those of us who mostly had mutual endings?
sheryls Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
then that's "other" i guess - i think i had another option, but i don't remember what it was.
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Largely deluded, I think.

;)
nate... Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
*laughs*

Naw, I've only had two "messy" breakups... one where I was dumped, one where I was the dump-er.

Snow In Summer Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
exactly. without going into gory details, most of my relationships just (to paraphrase TS Eliot) end with a whimper & not a bang.
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Most of mine were rather whimpery but initiated by one side. Usually me. I have had very few dramatic breakups.
Annika Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

I don't think I've ever had a very messy break up, it's always been, me packing my things while they're gone and moving. Clean break. *sigh* i am an ass.

John J. Ryan · 15 years, 11 months ago

I've been quite the unlucky one in terms of keeping relationships together, which now explains why I'm so shy to ask women out.

Of course it could be worse. One of my friends would ask girls out, and get one of four responses. He even put it into a pathetic cheer:

"I don't see you in that way,

I only wanna be friends,

I'm dating someone else, or

I'm a lesbian!"

ShrinkMan · 15 years, 11 months ago
Like that's fair! Not-so-much. 8^(
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
There is the matter of my ex-wife, however, who both pursued me and then had an affair (with none other than a -then- local cop - and people called ME paranoid).

Someone once asked me to describe her, and all I could say was:

Blond Hair,
Blue Eyes,
Yellow Spine,
Black Heart.

Even today it is still hard for me to believe that I was ever (though briefly) married myself.

If regrets were nickles... $$$
sheryls · 15 years, 11 months ago

i'm usually the breakup-er. The only time i wasnt was my relatively-long-term relationship when i was 16/17. After that, most of them were me, or mutual.

A girl named Becca · 15 years, 11 months ago
I'm still in my first "real" relationship (hi there,  nate-2 hours till layoff :)), so I'm not usually anything in a break-up. My "fake" relationship had a sort of complicated ending that can't really be called a break-up, and it's hard to say who really initiated it...so....yeah.

I'm neither.
:)
Starfox · 15 years, 11 months ago
I've only been in four relationships not counting my current permanent one.

1 - was used by girl to try to get back with one of my friends, so definitely was the breakup-ee.

1 - dated a friend to explore being more than friends, and it didn't work out, so it was a mutual amicable breakup.

1 - girlfriend from college dumped me.

1 - had a rebound relationship and was the breakup-er.

Then I met the woman who will become my wife.
Melinda J. Beasi · 15 years, 11 months ago
I voted breakup-er, because that is what I have been most often, but I gotta say... the times that I have been the breakup-ee it has really sucked. Like serious heartbreak. Which... considering my breakup-er record, perhaps I deserved. Or something.
K-Lyn · 15 years, 11 months ago

Well, usually it's mutual (or at least once I tell them I don't want to see them any more they don't want to see me either) but then there was the one major one where I had to tell him it was over manyMANY times...and eventually...two years later...with the help of the local police. Glad I found a non-stalker-type this go around!

*joolee* · 15 years, 11 months ago

I've got a terrible record, atleast as guys are concerned...3 relationships, 3 times I've broken things off. But I always seem to take the role of the stereotypical guy - commitmentphobe and breaking up in some of the worst ways possible - on the phone, online/phone, and over AIM.

p.s. I love the broken heart thing!

John J. Ryan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I had someone tell me, "We need to talk" over AIM. Thanks a lot, wherever you are.
100% dainty! · 15 years, 11 months ago
late bloomers who still have yet to date!
iPauley Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
or those who can say they've dated, but have never really been in a relationship... *clicks choice 4*

*siiiiiiigh*

-- Pauley
Yvonne Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

Woot! That's me. Been single all my life. It sucks at times though. Guys are really good at scaring me off when they like me. I've broken hearts without even being in a relationship with them first! But I think I may have found a guy who isn't scaring me off, I'll just have to see how it goes.

*is hopeful*

Snarki_Fru · 15 years, 11 months ago

like a bed of freshly cut roses...

sitting on a pile of manure...

on the other side of town...

and you're standing downwind...

ahem...

3 serious relationships - I ended all three of them (high expectations? hell yeah... there's nothing wrong with reasonable standards)

a handful of flings - sometimes they didn't end so much as just kinda fade into non-existence... weird thing really.

-me

zil · 15 years, 11 months ago
well... I was ... a late bloomer? or maybe highschool boys hadn't learned to appretiate red heads, who knows. anyway. my first boyfirend was killed in a car accident, so that rather put a damper on our relationship. james fly was his name. rip. the next smathering of young men and womenI didn't really have relationships with so much as fooled around with breifly and then ran away... and then adam. he left me. not long after valentines day. not long after our 3rd anniversary. not long after he asked me to marry him. he needs to die. its not you, its me! and this is my foot up your ass you fucking pussy boy with no spine. wooo its all about anger management. then there was badness with a guy and a thing and the stuff.... and now there is a Talcott. otherwise known as blane. he is my geode.
Pacho Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

he needs to die. its not you, its me! and this is my foot up your ass you fucking pussy boy with no spine. wooo its all about anger management

i love your external dialogue, lol

zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
hee. buy my book.
Pacho Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
*sold*
Bruce Rose Back · 15 years, 11 months ago

Is it too early to ask for an autographed first edition?

zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
*makes a note* so I'll know who to thank when I only sell 2 copies. dude.
Jºnªthªn Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
your geode? so do you have to saw him in half to see the good stuff?
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
he's my rock, but not just any rock.
John J. Ryan · 15 years, 11 months ago

My quartet is learning in a song in a couple of months that goes a little something like this:

oO Redheads, everybody loves redheads.... Oo

jaye Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
that's what they say, but i have yet to see proof of that :P
John J. Ryan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I'm a sucker for redheads!
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
me either, I mean... where are the redhead lovers? (other than johnboy;-)
Talcott Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
*waves*

To be specific, artist type redheads who get paid to melt barbie faces.

Oh, and I really like the kind who know how to subtract six from ten ;-)
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
ahhh simple math and a burning hate of barbie... now I know what guys are looking for.
Rachel Beck Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
right here. in, ah, iowa.
A.J. Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Me me me!!! *jumps up and down* Redheads rock my world. And both of you are hot, so quit complaining. It isn't looks that are your problems. I think it all has to do with subconsiously pushing people away. At least that was my problem.
jaye Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
oh, damn you and your infernal logic :P
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
me? push people away? *sheepish*
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I loves redheads. *swoon* I like plenty of folks in other hair color brackets as well but a redhead will turn my head every time.
lawrence Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
has there been a hair colour poll yet? hmmmmm.

(actually, I suppose we need two - "What's yours?" and "What do you like best?" :)
A.J. Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I think most of us know what each other's hair color is thanks to pictures. The other one is good though.
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
The weird thing is I'm not a huge fan of red hair on guys. I don't dislike it but it's less of a "hominahominahomina" thing than redheaded girls.
sheryls Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
i'm also not a huge fan of redheaded guys. i think it's cute when there is a reddish tone to their goatees though :D
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Thanks B*tch!

8^(
A.J. Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I think red hair on guys looks cute-geeky at best. Then it is down hill from there. Somehow it is very different on women. I have no clue why that is.
*joolee* Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
my brother is dating a red head and often proclaims his love of them
jaye Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
well, then, i guess it really is me in the particular that is the problem.

damn.

i wonder if the convent would pay for the rest of my education . . .
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
jaci. your icon makes me want to go back to women. just thought I'd say.
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Yeah I keep meaning to mention how much I love it.
John J. Ryan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I agree with the lovely Andrea and Zilpha.
sheryls Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
you'd like to go back to women too, eh?
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
He's been dabbling a bit on the other side. Hard to resist Josh's sweet ass, you know. :)
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
sw333333t a5555!
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
dude. totally. but I kind of have a talcott at the moment. and he's cute and non-threatening :-)
danced with Lazlo Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
That's the thing about Talcott. The non-threatening thing.

Yeah.
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
andrea gets to be lovely and I get to just be zilpha? *this is how we twist your words, twist your words, twist your words* ;-)
Andrea Krause Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
We are one entity. Andrea-and-Zilpha. And a lovely creature it is. :)
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
lovely and highly medicated. we're like a walking talking pharmacy with 4 boobs.
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Boy, I am in far more trouble than I ever could have imagined!

(@
    ^ O
(@
ShrinkMan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
(Either that or the Luckiest Damn Guy in the Universe... it's 2, 2, 2 hot babes in one!)
jaye Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
well c'mon over, babe ;)
A.J. Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
jaci. your icon makes me want to go back to women.

JACI makes me want to go back to women... oh wait... :)
John J. Ryan Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
Jaci's icon makes me salivate. * drool *
danced with Lazlo Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
My God.. Who DOESN'T like redheaded women??
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
I cut 6 inches of my hair off today. damn ex and his damn way of triggering me.
goovie is married! Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
dude.
that is all.
zil Back · 15 years, 11 months ago
totally.
Pacho · 15 years, 11 months ago
1. A. dumpee

2. T. dumper/dumpee/dumper (broke up in PG, ran into each other by chance in Toronto, dumped in Toronto, wound up in PG at the same time and I dumped her that time. crazy bitch)

3. S. dumpee. *heart broken forever*

4. P. dumper

5. L. dumper x1

6. D. dumper

7. L. dumper x2


I'm not positive of the order exactly, S before L, not sure where P is supposed to be in all that.

Everything after #3, well, went out with the person, something didn't click internally with me although it certainly did with *them* leading to messy breakup. In L's case, x2. :)

Truly, I have loved and lost. Will I ever love again? ;)

dumper, at this point in my life. pre-dumper, even
Rachel Beck · 15 years, 11 months ago
1. dumper
2. dumpee (multiple times, same person)
3. dumpee
4. dumpee
5. dumpee

Ah, patterns.
goovie is married! · 15 years, 11 months ago
dated two guys. one was a smeghead and i stopped calling him. one is a sweet and wonderful boy i live with and work with and hope to share my life with as long as i can. i haven't asked anyone out since 5th grade. the two non-neal-or-smeg-king people who asked me out, i turned down, even tho they were people who were very sweet and wonderful, and two of the best friends i've ever had. so i'm really not sure what to say.
A.J. · 15 years, 11 months ago
If you don't date, at least you don't face the dumper/dumpee consequences. (Aldthough heart break is still possible)

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